madam, in eden I'm adam

My walk to work is laughably short, even with the added difficulty of a highly-strung dog to wrangle. I have short legs, too, and I’m not what you’d call a morning person. My enthusiasm is always low, that’s what I’m saying. I listen to episodes of ‘Robin & Josie’s Utter Shambles’, but since my walk is only seven minutes long, and I never remember to untangle my headphones until I’m halfway there, it takes me a long time to listen to a whole episode. This week I’ve been working on the episode with Alan Moore, which is excellent, and I was sad this morning to reach the end and hear that the next guest was Ed Byrne, who I can’t stand.

The moral of the story is: although they will tolerate you eating porridge at your desk, when you pour a bit of tea into it everyone will discuss what a monster you are and you’ll want to tell the Internet and it won’t care, and in some quarters will also maybe think you are a monster even though it’s just tea with milk, you jackals, I don’t have to explain myself to you.