madam, in eden I'm adam

Today at my dentist appointment I hope to finally convince him that my discomfort is not due to pain (or the fear of), but because it is a really awkward social interaction and also because I spend most of the time thinking about when the prime time is for sitting up under my own power when he raises the back of the chair. When do people do that? Is everyone else springing from the chair as soon as he takes his (goddamn) fingers out of your (goddamn) mouth? I want it in my notes, alongside my orthodontia history, my unerupted wisdom teeth, and my one filling that other dentist did for no reason other than it was my first visit since leaving full-time education and he had ££s for eyes: “Patient finds the whole experience uncomfortable, in terms of a social interaction with a strange man, but not as uncomfortable as that part of an eye appointment where they get really close to you and then you become hyper-aware of their eyelashes and then they talk to you in that dark room with their face almost touching yours and then you have to pay them.”